Still Hope
I have often spoke about the peace I experienced in the hours, days and weeks after Andrew was born, when I should have been overwhelmed by anxiety, there was a peace that anchored me. It was incredibly beautiful, like nothing this world can offer when the world turns to turmoil. By the absolute grace of God, and nothing I could have ever found in my own strength. I had peace.
There is something I want to share about peace. It is not always void of pain. God knows in those days and weeks we faced, there was pain - the pain of uncertainty, of dreams falling away, the pain my body was experiencing having only a few days prior gone through surgery to birth this beautiful child. Just walking from one end of the kitchen to the other was like climbing a mountain, let alone the long walk from our room to Andrew’s bedside.
Peace is a funny thing. It’s not always rainbows, sunshine and glitter. It’s an anchor that exists, a safety net that allows you to safely experience and process the pain and trauma that surrounds you, to cry your tears, to know your thoughts. It’s an anchor that tells your soul and spirit that it’s safe to hope. And even if life doesn’t turn out the way you hope, it speaks God still has your back. And He most certainly does.